“We met, and then we traveled together, and then somehow got lost. We traveled through first days at school, un-accepting in-laws, debt, arguing over curtain colors and whether we share our politics with others.
“But where did we first meet?”
What is it that brought you two together? Sometimes where you came to today can be traced to the choices you made year ago. Choosing to be be quiet when your needs were not met, choosing to hold resentment when you know in your heart ill intent was not present. As unpleasant as those sound, we meet there too, in the lack of communication and connecting via old habits that do not serve us in a healthy way.
So recall, further back, where did you two meet? What was it like to see each other those first few times when you knew, This is the one.
It could be a physical place. Recall that place. What time of year was it? What was the weather like? How did you feel physically?
Now recall, where were You emotionally? Were you excited, lonely, contented, anxious?
Where were you financially? Did you have security, or were you a risk taker back then?
Where did you meet? Were you fully conscious of your decision to be together, or did it just happen and life took the lead on its own? This question, “Where did you meet?” intends to prompt you to remember the value of your union, and perhaps reveal with hindsight choices you made and since forgot.
In this, make note of what you have forgotten over the years. Include your dreams, your compromises, your agreements and promises. Include in this list your Self. You are changed since then, and maybe parts of yourself are left behind on purpose, and forgetting was a part of letting go.
Remember these choices and prepare to be more conscious of the affects these choices had on your relationship. Nothing is right or wrong; they are just choices. But being aware of them helps us understand we can make new choices going forward.
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